Future Movie Releases

With use of the internet movie database I was able to dig into the future releases of Hollywood. With some hacking skills (Google) I was able to grab all upcoming releases in the ‘script only’ stage, to post-production status. With possibly a little over 2000 movies coming out between October 2008 and 2013, we have a lot coming our way. But when you see the future releases list you can’t help but feel like puking. The sheer lack of creativity out in the Hollywood hills is mind boggling. The general idea of a ‘new’ movie is something like this: Just take a popular (comic) book character, hire a hot female cast member, add something with terrorist threatening the world (which in most movies means New York) with a some sort of global warming bomb and get the script ready for a possible sequel. People will be swarming to download on bittorrent buy a ticket at the box office!
Below are Hollywood’s more popular ideas listed by category:

Games are hot

After a long period of books becoming a movie (Harry Potter), currently comic books characters become movies (Spiderman, The Hulk) our future holds… drum-roll… games that become movies! ‘Tombraider’ set it all off with taking in $300M worldwide. The movie was a big hit, although not really because of its script quality, but rather due to Angelina’s - hard-to-ignore - front assets. Hollywood is now attempting to achieve the same thing with numerous computer games listed below:

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
16 June 2009
Max Payne
15 October 2008
Metal Gear Solid
Mortal Kombat
Gears of War
The Sims: The Movie

Sequels, Triquels and more

Hollywood loves sequels. Sequels provide some kind of guarantee of people coming to the theaters, thus bringing in the money. For example take American Pie. Everybody loved it, but while part 1 brought in ‘only’ $102M, the horrible sequel was somehow cashing 40% more (over $145M).  It gets worse with the ‘Scary Movie’ series that reached a global total of $800M with 5 movies. Some noteworthy sequels:

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – There just can’t be enough Megan Fox movies.
24 June 2009
The Incredible Hulk – So it’s like the Hulk, but than even more incredible?
6 June 2008
Sin City 2 – Doubt it will be nice since Jessica has become a mom.
The Brazilian Job – Like the Italian job/heist but now in Brazil. How did they come up with it?

Every time I hope the moviemakers will just give up after yet another bad sequel, but somehow you guys can’t seem to get enough of paying money for a movie that really isn’t worth sitting through if you were the one getting paid to see it! Anyways it leads us to triquels, fourquels…

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – Lord Voldemort! (hehe, I said it out loud)
19 November 2008
High School Musical 3: Senior Year – I’ll wait it out till Vanessa’s college freshmen years.
22 October 2008
Quantum of Solace – With a $230M budget is must be good. Right?
31 October 2008
Spider-Man 4 – I hope they get back together.
May 2011
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I – So like… another one?
19 November 2010
Jurassic Park IV – They should’ve stopped four movies earlier.
Superman: Man of Steel – Our yearly Superman movie release…
June 2009
Toy Story 3 – Wasn’t part 2 released in your local supermarket VHS section?
18 June 2010
Shrek Goes Fourth – They better keep Puss in boots!
May 2010

Destined for disaster

Sometimes you just need a tiny bit of information to predict if a movie will be hot or not. Somehow these movies just don’t sound like box office successes.

Fast and Furious – Come on Vin, couldn’t you make the title more original?
4 June 2009
Watchmen – Based on a comic book.... next.
5 March 2009
Jennifer's Bodyedit: wrongly listed here since it has Megan Fox
Justice League: Mortal – Official summary “Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, the Flash and other superheroes unite to to fight against evil forces.” Enough said.
The First Avenger: Captain America – We’ve all had enough with superheroes by the time this gets released. We – the people - want movies based on supermodels or playmates.

Retro = cool

Didn’t you love the A-team? Of course you did, everybody did! So Hollywood decided to make a movie of it (sound familiar?). Too bad all characters are overweight now, so they have to bring in other actors (won’t be the same without the real BA “I ain't gittin' on no plane!" Baracus will it?).  Anyways go over the list below and decide what will go on your 2009-calendar.

Dragonball – I’ve been practicing “Kamehameha” since. 27 March 2009
G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra – Why the F is Brendan Fraser in this movie? 6 August 2009
X-Men Origins: Wolverine – Soon to be released in a $3 dvd-movie collection near you. 29 April 2009
The A-Team – Let’s hope that with Bruce Willis the movie will work out. 11 June 2009

Money, money, money!

So what would you do, if you had 100+ million dollars? Apparently the producers of the movies below got that question and answered by saying “We will make a movie!”.

Hawaii Five-0
Land of the Lost
15 July 2009
27 March 2009
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Battle Angel
June 2009
Terminator Salvation
22 May 2009
Quantum of Solace
31 October 2008
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I
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